photo project confession

so i am a photographer with a confession.

i am thinking of getting a tattoo on my forehead which reads:

slacker seeking redemption

since my visitors came and left last weekend, i have managed to revert to my lazy schmuckery in terms of creative production.

CONFESSION: i took a picture this morning. it had been six days since i had contributed to my intense project.

WHERE HAS ALL THE SELF MOTIVATION GONE? down the crapper, thats where. on thursday, in a desperate attempt to redeem my slackerish tendencies, i finally developed my photo project from pinecrest (most of it at least). if i may quickly depart from my self-loathing, the photographs were absolutely breathtaking. beautiful. perfect. it turned out exactly as i had hoped - random, beautiful, candid, comprehensive, diverse, lovely. the project can be viewed here:

PINECREST PHOTO PROJECT

seen as which this project took me two days to complete (sorta) i am going to forgive myself for being such a slacker. i am just going to plug forward and keep snapping away. as much as the digital camera is convenient, the pictures always end up blurry or flat. i remember hating the delay of the shutter as well. i am so used to the picture being taken immediately, that the delay throws me off, hence the blurry. the depth problem wont get any better because frankly its a tiny lens. oh until the day i can afford a digi-SLR. sigh.

on one hand i want to have great photos, on the other, there is something motivating about posting pictures daily. there is something gratifying about seeing your work and if i just keep experimenting with my Diana, which takes 120 film, i will have to a) find time to develop the B+W ones on my own b) in the case of color rolls, i will need to find someone here in PC who will develop them, go down to salt lake, or send them away to B&H or something. that means lots of money and time that i dont have right now... maybe in a couple of weeks. another great thing about having something instant is that i would be forced to keep up with posting them if i have them right NOW.

therefore, the solution that i have come up with takes inspiration from the pinecrest project and might help solve this motivational need for immediacy.

introduction and use of disposable cameras.

i never really think about using disposables because...well, i really dont know why. perhaps its because they remind me of middle school field trips or great adventure, but i am going to embrace that nostalgic hokiness and use them, or at least the two that are sitting in my apartment. they are lighter and more portable than my rangefinders or 35 mm, a little less awkward than my Diana, and they take better pictures than the digi. perhaps i will be inspired to get them developed faster (negatives and then CD cost about $5 a roll and hey, rite aid dude didnt do a bad job...) and being able to get some more instant gratification or at least availability for critique, i would be more motivated in the long run...

or maybe not.
but hey it cant hurt.

Rachel Maddow and UTAH

last night drew and i were doing as we do and watching msnbc when rachel maddow (my hero) talked about utah! "we are in a hopping place," drew said.

enjoy

visitors with lovely faces

allison and kaytee just arrived back in NYC according to the text message that made my phone vibrate with lonesome reckoning. god i miss them. they flew in to SLC on friday and have already gone. good times were had, even though I worked for most of the time that they were in town.

friday was main street day. they accompanied me to work, with drew, and brought food to the gallery from clockwork. mmm dinner. yes, kaytee had very inexpensive chicken fingers from davanzas. (<$6?) they took the car and dropped drew off at work, only to come and get me a few hours later. such gracious guests. we raced to the liquor store to get some rum (Oh Mr. Sparrow, where has all the rum gone?) and wine before they closed for the night and then home we went to drink it all up. crazy day, lazy night.

saturday was their sleep in day, while drew took an early (before 8am?) leave to ride PCMR (i ride park city...hahaha no i dont) with RWest friends and I worked gallery until 1. drew met me on main street and we drove home to pick up the twins and we headed back downtown to cafe terigo where we had a 45 minute meal before we drove drew to work. then back downtown to Fawn where I worked until 9. i gave kaytee and allison my PCfilm series pass and they managed to catch a screening of cadillac records at the PClibrary where i met them after work. then we went home and made tofu stirfry, ate lots, and hung out watching and gossiping randomn things. i also taught allison how to knit while watching the second half of snl. ("what is the rock in now?")

sunday was fawn for me and olympic park seeing for the twins. drew had work also. they took pictures which i am sure you will be able to find on your favorite networking website in a few hours. (kaytee, youre predictably awesome at chronicling adventures). work ended early enough to go to SLC and eat food of the gods at cafe trio and view the disney castle wannabe that is the LDS temple. basically we made an evening out of being awesome, unfortunately losing an hour of sleep to fascism, or so i am told. boo to less sleep.

monday was our official SNOW DAY for which we headed to the canyons (jon and kate plus four times two) where we hit the fresh pow to celebrate the elevated desert craziness that is utah snow. will met up with us and we rocked it hard... or hit it hard... or fell down hard. to each their own embodiment of hard, to be relieved by advil or alcohol. also your choice. we closed the mountain and headed home, where we paid homage to mr. michael cera with a double feature viewing - nick and norahs infinite playlist followed shortly by superbad. msnbc monopolized post cera celebration.

tuesday sucks too much to write about right now. it involved the following elements:
waking up early
driving to an airport
saying goodbye to lovely faces
driving home sleepy
getting stuck in traffic
getting home late
showering all too quickly
driving to work
working
and thinking about lovely faces.

so ive been thinking about getting an mfa in interdisciplinary arts

i already forget what it was like to learn -
reading books as a chore. no, not this time, its for fun...huh?
how about we keep going to school to learn
and then maybe by the time were done with learning
people will want to hire us.

in the mean time
keep making it up as i go along in lieu of checking my schedule.
(why do i still keep a daily planner? lets scribble in commitments after the fact.)

"I just gave up** a while ago, I think it was while I was living in BK. I think," he said to me the other day.

**"Giving up" in the living in the day to day sort of way, not in the lets develop a drug habit and drop off the face of the planet sort of way...

and even though i try to live day to day sort of way
i find that i cannot remember what i wore five days ago.
i cannot remember where i was more than four consecutive fourth of july's ago.
i know that i will probably eat something tonight
but it will be as insignificant as my best friend's HS prom dress, which, was purple and pretty.