R.I.P. Uncle Bill

i will always remember that though he was such a vigorous republican for most of his life - defending the Iraq war at my birthday party and justifying Bush's second term at Thanksgiving- my last few visits with him involved him saying Obama wasn't that bad.

yesterday i received a phone call from my mother letting me know that my great uncle bill passed away at around 5:30 AM on Friday January 23, 3009. though the last few months have been a struggle to make a man overrun by cancer and dementia as comfortable as possible, it still comes as a bit of an overwhelming shock that he has died.

I went to see him a few weeks before I left for Utah when he was still in Clove Lakes nursing home. I needed to talk to him about selling me his car; there were a few DMV papers he needed to sign. Normally, I hate visiting nursing homes or hospitals, they make me really depressed. Though, while there, I realized just how depressed most of the patients are and how I could leave the place but they were just stuck, most of them in wheelchairs.

I bumped into Hedi (the caregiver who took over when I left) in the hallway and she said that he was dressed and sitting in his wheelchair. Uncle Bill was never happier to see someone was there to visit him, even though it took a few minutes for him to realize it was me. I ended up spending an hour or so just shooting the breeze and watching baseball on the black and white television that sat on the dresser across from the hospital bed.

It was those few weeks that I lived with Aunt Ruth and visited Uncle Bill that I realized how little I really knew about them. I guess thats how it always goes, in movies at least; only in their final hours do I come to understand their ways, their quirks, their past.

rest in peace uncle bill.

i talked to kaytee montano recently.

this young lady once made a website dedicated to Tom
and for some reason she also considers me to be her mom
she's fun and she's smart
her straight hair is a work of art
and shes sweeter than a truckl0ad of sweet honey lip balm.

South Park Does Sundance

Drew told me about this episode a few days ago. We just watched it last night. Hysterical and dead on. Season 2. Episode 9.

I saw Millie and it made my evening

I maintained my demeanor.

I made no faux-pax.

But I TOTALLY had my Sundance experience last night, and I'm still beaming.

Some people scream when they see George Clooney.
Others get a boner when they see Pamela Anderson.
But what do you do when you work at a gallery and someone famous walks in to admire art?
The rule is: You do what you would do when any other prospective client walks in to admire art.

Okay. Damn? I can't ask for autographs or anything? Okay. Easy enough. Keep cool. And I did.

Luckily, there's no rule as to what you can or can't do after they leave!

Let's backtrack. This moment needs a preface.

Since its debut in 1999, I have loved the show Freaks and Geeks. Many stars got their start there - the ever popular Seth Rogen and James Franco. Linda Cardellini is pretty hot stuff now, too. Though it only lasted one season, it was brilliant in its themes and characters and I miss it everytime I re-watch an episode. As epic as it was for me, rarely can I strike up a conversation about an episode or reference it without people having no idea what I am talking about.

That being said, had Seth, James, or Linda walked into the gallery, most people would acknowledge the awesome experience. But my awesome experience is only going to be acknowledged by true F&G fans.

The chick who played Millie, the super-Christian, nerdy childhood friend of Lindsay, came into the gallery last night with a fella. I talked to her about a few of the pieces, not that I was presuming or expecting her to be qualified client, because frankly I didn't know, just as I don't initially know if anyone is --- but honestly, I went over to talk to her just so I could a) make sure it was her and b) say that I spoke to her. I told her to let me know if she had any questions. She didn't have any questions, but she did say goodbye when she left. The actress' name is Sarah Hagan and apparently she's in a movie that's showing at Sundance also starring Amy Poehler. I only learned of her name and resume after she left the gallery and I "IMDB'd" her. But I know for a fact that it was her. And I got to talk to her about art. Totally awesome.

the Sarah Hagan, that walked into the gallery

As excited as I am, not many people know who she is, but that makes my Sundance experience all the more tailored and awesome. I think that while celeb-gossip and star-gazing is kind of ridiculous, I definitely fall under the spell, especially when its a chance sighting. Even when not in a professional setting, such as the gallery, I find myself torn as to how I should act when spontaneously confronted with fame. Part of you wants proof - a photo, a signature - something to show off and keep for years to come, but in actuality, its a really lame interaction that just blends in with every other encounter that the celeb has had. Another part of you wants to remain cool, - they're human, there was once a point in their life that they weren't famous - so you don't want to make them upset or embarrassed, just as you wouldn't want to assault a stranger. It's not something you can really plan for, though if you do you should probably reassess your priorities in life, so I would suggest keeping your cool because as much as you want to be able to show how you made an idiot of yourself in front of John Stamos by standing next to his forced smile, its way cooler to tell the story about how you stood in line for coffee and happened to place and order after Julie Delply.

Its true that hype is relative to how famous you are; i'll leave it up to you to decide the unit with which fame is measured. Really famous people are kept in the shadows for protective measures - for the five people that love you there is the one jerk who probably wants you dead for some sick reason. Really famous people are among the untouchables, meaning the likelihood that you will cross paths with Brad Pitt is microscopic. So the real, more relevant question to all of us, is what happens to B-movie actors or people possessing a level of fame which allows them to walk the streets without being harassed constantly? How do they feel about being recognized, approached, since, I would assume, it happens less often?

It's a tough call and probably differs semi-famous person to semi-famous person. Some probably love the attention that they get. Others might choose to be only semi-famous in order to be able to preserve what privacy they can muster. (That's an interesting thought, at what point do you lose control over your fame? Does one ever have control over their fame?)

Either way, Sarah Hagan doesn't know that I knew it was her in the gallery last night. I made sure to treat her neutrally, greeting her amongst the few other people that wandered into the gallery at the same time. Though, if she happens upon my blog, I hope that she had a nice time in the gallery and if given the chance to converse I would like to have let her know, though she might not have cared, that I love Freaks and Geeks, and it was truly awesome to get to see a piece of the talent that made the show what it was in person.

:)

I'm such a Geek.

Top Ten Things Locals Hate About Sundance in Park City

Most locals avoid Main Street at all costs, but frankly, you can't avoid the death grips of Sundance unless you are holed up in your house for the ten days that its in town.

To give you a better understanding of why Sundance isn't loved by all, I give you the Top Ten Reasons why Locals Hate when Sundance comes to Park City compiled from various chats with "locals":

1. There is no parking on or around Main Street. Places, which on any other given day would offer you free four hour parking, or parking for a few quarters an hour, are now charging $20, no re-entry, to park downtown. As a matter of fact, it is impossible to park downtown if you:

• don't have a city parking permit that doesn't black out Sundance week (they go for about double what normal parking permits go for)
• don't know someone downtown who's house you can park at (luckily, my boss lives about 5 minutes from the gallery and allowed me to park there when I was in a jam yesterday).
  
• aren't willing to pay $20 or more to park.
  

This inconveniences not only people who work on Main Street and the tourists NOT here for Sundance, but it also leads to severe traffic congestion as frantic drivers who are not familiar with area wind around and sit idle on streets and in parking lots in search of the perfect parking spot. Sure, there are people directing traffic through the smaller streets, without whom there would probably be less transit coherency than exists now, but frankly, it is a bit insane.

2. Stupid people asking for stupid directions to Main Street. I am not talking about driving directions. I am not even talking about directions from the bus stop. I am talking about people who are literally a few feet away from Main Street asking me if the street parallel to Main Street was Main Street. First off, let's use a little common sense and make an inference from some basic observations - sir, does this look like Main Street? I know Park City is a small town, but if two stores, a long obvious stretch of the back of buildings, a Transit Center, and two parking lots look like a main street to you, then you really need to reconsider your concept of what a "main street" is. Second, if the big signs, most of which weren't there before the festival began, that have the words "Main Street" and an arrow pointing you away from the street you are currently standing on aren't enough, then maybe you ought to do as locals do and place your ear to the ground to listen for the stampedes of people that roam the main thoroughfare. It is the central artery of downtown Park City. I mean, come on, if you can navigate LA in your hummer or find the restrooms at Grand Central Station in NYC, I am sure, with just a minimal amount of effort you can comfotably find Main Street in Park City... that is if you happened to leave those three inch designer pumps you were wearing to dinner back in your hotel because, remember, you are visiting a mountain town filled with inclines and declines, something one of those such streets being Main Street. Oh, those were the only kind of shoes you brought? Have fun then.

3. Everyone on their cell phone all of the time. Normally, I would feel bad walking into the supermarket on my cell phone, but when I did just that two nights ago I was only taking part in the really obnoxious trend. The cell is truly an extension of the body this week; "go-go-gadget cellphone" if you will. Oh, how I would love to know if there were more iPhones or CRACKberries in Park City this week.

4. Lots of crazy drivers. Not that Utah normally boasts the most careful drivers, but its just a matter of mathematics -- the more people in Park City, the more cars there are in the Park City, the greater the ratio of bad drivers to good. To the hatred for crazy drivers we can add the hatred for the presence of obnoxious cars (especially Hummers). Not only are they stereotypically bad drivers, but the worst of the worst usually ride expensive ridiculous vehicles, like the ever-lovable Hummer. I mean, there is a reason the insurance for a bright yellow 2008 Hummer is higher than for a light blue 1988 Honda Civic... (go Betty, go!) Normally locals dig their Subarus, Priuses, antique Honda Civics (hahaha) or any other sports utility vehicle that doesn't totally annihilate the environment. Sundance brings in the "glamour" and anything/everything else that can be packed into the ridiculously-oversized-oversexed-gaudy-eyesore of a vehicle that is a Hummer. If not a Hummer, than it's a showy shiny rental that ranges in awe. I think the rule is, the "cooler" the car the more you posses the right to drive like a maniac. Yes, that's it. Pull a U-turn on a five lane road. You exercise your American rights.

5. The presence of peripheral not-so important people and dealing with their attitudes. One of the most hilarious aspects to Sundance is the amount of not-so important people who think they're important and the way they carry themselves. They are identifiable from a few feet away by the glow from their bluetooth or their flashy name tags on fancy mass-produced sundance lanyards that say something about how unimportant they are; they also never leave home without looking fashionably-fabulous and donning a nice big pair of sunglasses, so stay sensitive to those elements as well. They smile rarely and expect to be treated like their one of the stars whom they have no direct affiliation with. Ironically, the chiller the 'tude the more likely they are actually important.

6. The paparazzi. Drew has actually been warned by his company to be wary of any inquisitive phone calls they receive this week. On edge with every ring, the Paparazzi are known to go to truly evil depths to uncover the whereabouts and any other personal information about "famous" guests that were rumored to be staying in Park City for Sundance. Therefore, every phone call needs to be taken in stride and no-employee can be too eager to offer assistance or information. Its so strange. Even watching from the gallery windows, sly men with a beautiful camera strung around their neck dictate the hype on Main Street. As soon as you see them eye something, their prey, and begin to pick up their lens, the automatic reaction of everyone who notices them is to look at what, or more importantly, who, they are about to capture. Its almost frantic, because you honestly don't know when you will see Wesley Snipes walking down the street (as my boss did).

**A hilarious offshoot of this star-gazing phenomenon is the increased amount of eye contact everyone is giving and receiving in hopes of recognizing someone famous. It was fun to walk from the coffee shop to the gallery wearing a big hat and sunglasses, walking briskly. People will go out of their way, ducking and squinting, to get a better look at you if you purposefully dart the spotlight. I could totally pass as Ashley Judd if you cover up my face enough...

7. Most of the bars on Main Street have cover charges. All of the bars in town know that people are here to party and uhh.. yeah...watch movies... so in honor of the anticipated debauchery, this week, most hotspots in town have hiked up their cover charges (in most cases its rare that they even had one to begin with). Its annoying to lots of people, but frankly, I don't go out enough to care. Even if I did go out, I think the crowds would deter me, so I would be more likely to be found sitting on my couch with a fine glass of box wine, watching something fun, like House re-runs, than fighting my way into Harry O's to get an overpriced drink and no seat. No spanks.

8. Gas prices have gone up about 20 cents in the past week. Everyone is making money where they can, and though it affects the locals, the town wouldn't be what it is without the revenue the city pulls in this week. But yeah, its still annoying to fill up the tank when prices are what they were a few weeks ago.

9. The local coffee joint is a zoo, oh yeah...and good luck eating out or food shopping. The local triple organic yummy coffee place on Main Street, Java Cow, has become overrun by Starbucks junkies. I joked with Drew, "I can picture a woman walking in and asking for a 'grande' soy latte." Ironically, there is a sign on the register that says, "Lo siento, no hablan starbucks." Poor lady in a fur coat itching for a grande... there we only have a LARGE! Also, If you haven't gone food shopping weeks in advance buying out water and canned goods in the fashion of pre-hurricane prep, don't plan on eating this week. You are officially on the Sundance diet. Though, there is one restaurant who is only serving locals this week. Uptown Fare has hired a bouncer, like many restaurants do during Sundance, but his job is to keep the Sundancers out! You have to have proof of residence - a driver's license, a Library Card, or Local Ski Pass - in order to dine. She is also only staying open Monday to Friday 11am-3:300Pm. I don't know how I feel about this venture. I applaud her attempt to make locals a priority at a time when they are normally pushed aside, but maybe its me but there is something a little presumptuous about her mission. I am not exactly sure what service she is providing the locals by having limited hours...where is a local supposed to grab dinner after work if they are set on eating out? But, Uptown receives an A for effort.

10. The rise of litterbugs. Last night I was closing up the gallery and upon going outside the foyer of our mall area to take in our sandwich sign, I found myself fighting though an overflowing garbage can and scattered remnants of a liquor store run and energy drink canisters. Cigarette butts create kaleidoscopic patterns by the curb and torn posters, advertisements, and tossable swag make Main Street Park City look more like the aftermath of New Years Eve in Times Square or the Halloween Parade in the Village than a clean, sunny, mountain town. Its truly disgusting, considering the percentage of the local population that is eco-conscious. Also, as argued in the NYTimes article on Sundance, while Sundance films might be promoting environmental awareness, the amount of oil that is burned so that folks can get here and get around while here is absurd and almost contradictory, if not ironic, to the purported eco-awareness that Sundance is supposed to be promoting. Yay for hypocisy. You drive that Gibson Guitar bus around Main Street all day - I'll keep breathing in that black smoky exhaust that you keep spouting all over the place.

By posting this, I don't mean to purport the idea that all locals hate Sundance. I'm just a cynical schmuck who is fascinated by the "Sundance transformation" Park City undergoes to accomodate all of these people and am sincerely interested in how it affects the city and its dwellers.

There are locals that do dig Sundance and all the hype. They are the ones who volunteer every year, stand in the wait-list line for movies for hours, or attend Slamdance (the Sundance alternative festival).

Personally, I sit somewhere between the locals that hate it and love it. "Fascination" truly sums it up. I can people watch all day with my mouth agape and my eyes slightly squished. Everything about Park City fascinates me and makes me say, "wooooooooooooow" to myself the same way one might be amazed at someone reading a book upsidedown.

To be honest, the drivers, the cellphones, the litter, the gas prices - these are things I grew up with, so they, in and of themselves, don't annoy me (though littering is always disgusting). The traffic on Main Street (both pedestrian and automobile) is absolutely hysterical. The paparazzi are hysterical. The stupid people are hysterical. There is one major thing about Sundance that annoys me. It is how this entire ten days isn't about the beauty of Park City, enjoying what the town has to offer, or giving back to the town. Frankly, it seems as though people come in and transform the town because Sundance has become about bringing in the glamour that cushions hollywood so that when all of the Los Angelites and New Yorkers show up they feel right at home. Essentially Park City isn't good enough. In and of itself, its a cute resort town that serves as a nice stage where they can set up their lights and put up their wallpaper and party 'til the break of dawn with something resembling the "Sound of Music" atmosphere as the backdrop for their shitshow. Though Park City does benefit (financially) from this whole gig, I just wish there was a little more respect for the town and a little less litter.

I leave you with this thought:

People watching from our gallery windows, Maren and I wondered, "Where are such a volume of people headed?"

It is a matter of fact that each person is heading in a different direction and will ultimately end up at a different destination. Some paths will converge, I mean Park City is only so big. However, the likelihood that these people know of their destination at the moment we spotted them was very slim. So if you think about it, hundreds of people come to town, come to Main Street, with no destination in mind. Hundreds of wanderers come to Park City, toting an assortment of reasons for wandering: a star-gazer with hopes of finding that one photo-op with a celeb, a film school graduate with hopes of finding that big break, or a socialite with hopes of finding the most glamorous or raucous party of the evening or the perfect one night stand. The personalities are endless. Each charicature that comes to town has only one thing in common: they cannot pinpoint or even plan for the moment that their hopes will materialize, or if they ever will.

Nevertheless they wander with hope.

Drew says its a metaphor for the industry, and its true. But the metaphor gets very interesting, deeper and (in my opinion) sadder, the more you think about it.

"If it really hurts, just pound the snow."

Today was my third day on the mountain. Total hours Monica has snowboarded: 9.

I realize that when it comes to snowboarding, I have a commitment problem.

I am definitely committed to learning (I think my financial investment thus far is testament to that or at the very least shackles me to making it worth every penny). What I am unable to commit to is ruling out my of fear of falling or going too fast and subsequently falling while strapped to the snowboard.

Snowboarding is unlike ANYTHING I have ever done. I hate ice skating, I never tried skateboarding out of fear of asphalt and my face meeting, I never loved rollerblading (that was more of my sister's gig), and I have never had the opportunity to surf or wakeboard or anything. I liked riding my bike, that was about it. My family isn't into winter sports, so our vacations were filled with hikes, canoeing, rollerskating, andplaying tennis. Until December 25, 2008 I had never done anything akin to skiing, snowboarding, etc. I now find myself living in Park City, home to three resorts that bring tons of seasonal workers and tourists who come out here to do just that - ski, snowboard. While strapped to a snowboard I am so out of my element that I am devoid of any concept of how to do anything, and that is such a weird insecure feeling. I am unsure of how anything works, how I am supposed to position my body, what I should try not to do, etc. This is where a lesson comes into play, you say - with the whole learning process, easing me into the sport, acquainting me with the movements, tools, equipment, etc. But while I took a lesson, and it was most certainly everything a crash course in snowboarding should be - i.e. tumbling - it is really taking a while for me to successfully be able put basic movements into practice.

I need to feel more confident and the only way I can do that is by getting better. Getting better means linking turns and not falling. Linking turns and not falling only happens when you fearlessly commit to moving your body instead of fearfully anticipating a turn and over-thinking your actions. It must be frustrating to watch me do just that because I am sure as heck frustrated with myself every time I fail to do what I want to do with my body or the board.

What made today different from any other day out there was not only the noticeably elevated quality of my performance from Day 1/Hour 1, but today was the first day I did a run with Drew! YAY! After my third solo run, where I didn't fall uncontrollably once, my slightly-more-confident-stubborn-self decided to finally call Drew to ask him to come help me practice how to turn. I am nervous about hitting the trails with Drew because amidst wanting to impress him cause I love him and I want him to be proud of me, I was nervous that he would get aggravated because I'm not very good. Silly but true. However, regardless of the fact that I am self-conscious on the slopes and he is awesome, he managed to help me to better understand how turning is supposed to happen instead of me trial-and-erroring by myself all over the place.

It was nice.

The best advice he gave today was after I stopped short and fell straight on my tailbone, the kind of fall that you can feel in your nose. I made a pouty face and he said, "If it really hurts, just pound the snow. It's all you can do. You can give yourself two seconds and then you have to get up again. Come on. Get up." hahahahahaha. Gotta love it.

I can honestly say that though I "had fun" my first two times out there, they ended painfully and when it was all over I was disappointed with myself and how badly I sucked. This was the first time I can say I felt better out there, and that's such a nice feeling. I successfully turned a couple of times, thanks to Drew's instruction. Its still not something I totally comprehend, nor does it come naturally, but I can definitely feel myself loosening up a bit.

And thats enough progress for me to feel just a bit more confident.

"News from the top"
Snowboarding, Day 3.
I can confidently say
things fall into place.

"May I have this Sundance?"

At this point, all in Park City are counting down the hours until Sundance 2009 kicks off tomorrow. Main Street is offically a "Loading ONLY" zone and there are people in town that definitely mark the transition from the average mountee townee to trendy socialite. I went to the corner "cafe" for a quick bite this evening - delicious club sandwich btw - and after chatting with him for a moment, he said that business has offically begun for him. He is the only venue within reasonable walking distance that sells cigarettes. While normally a non-popular product while mountee townees are roaming, Sundance brings him the big cancerous biz. Over the years he has figured out what brands sell at Sundance and he only carries those. How intelligently hysterical. He says that since this morning he has sold 54 packs of cigarettes. Normally, he's lucky if he sells ten. "At a bargain $6 a pack, thats serious revenue," I said. "Yeah, though the smokers don't usually buy food here, so its a fair financial substitue for anything my lunch menu...That'll be $6.50," he says as he hands me my sandwich.

I have been told by a few locals that ticket sales are up from last year, an unexpected statistic considering the current national economic situation and the Utah-supported-Prop-8 boycotters. Interestingly, however, there are less reservations and rentals citywide. A visitor to the gallery explained that she always rents her house out at Sundance, and while she had her advertisement up on Craigslist for months, she only in the past week got a renter. This was after she dropped her price $150 from her original nightly asking price which was $1200. Among her friends, she said she got lucky. She, among other locals I have spoken to, believe this Sundance marks the year of the local. Ticket sales might be up and Sundance is an event sure to bring people to town regardless of money, but I can see how a combination of the state of the economy and Utah boycotters in lieu of Prop-8 passing are effecting those in attendance of Sundance.

On my walk back from the cafe I was stopped in front of what is usually Montgomery Lee Fine Art (one of the classiest, oldest, galleries on Main Street) so that a group of ripped men in tight tees could carry a piece of furniture from a moving van into the gallery space. Another stylish man wearing thick hipster glasses was fixing a "Q" logo sticker on the door. Upon looking in, I saw that the entire first floor had been transformed from your typical gallery space into a neon blue glowing club setting, complete with couches and bar area. Absolut's Queer Lounge has officially tagged their territory, despite all of the Prop 8 crap that has gone down here. Or should I say IN spite of. I was glad to see this up and happening, cause frankly as much as boycotting makes a statement, I think visibility and action make a much louder noise. Come to Utah, raise hell. Its a much needed change of pace that very closeted mindsets need in order to instill any sort of EVENTUAL change. I am not saying that Park City is not gay-friendly; I am saying Park City might be the only place that is gay-friendly, in addition to some holes of SLC. Hopefully raising some sort of awareness, maybe even making a few local headlines, will dissuade a few brainwashed turds.

the calm before the storm

Park City has calmed down a bit.

The Christmas roar has subsided; the out-of-towners that are now in-town have consciously chosen to arrive January 2: the departure date for most in town for the holidays. They have probably been part of the holiday tsunami that takes hold of Park City years in the past, but they are the kind of people who learn from their mistakes. They like to be able to get reservations at restaurants or spas; they like to (probably) ski without having to dodge the folks trying out the new gear that was gifted to them Christmas morn. They like to be able to go food shopping and have a choice of products. Its nice to be able to walk up and down Main Street without feeling as though you are in Times Square.

On the flipside, sales at both the gallery and J.Crew are down, severely. Though that seems to be the nationwide trend that is boasted about on the homepage of the Times, this is supposed to be Park City's money-making peak and we find ourselves left with some snow and 35 degree F futures. Un-good. Very un-good. We are hopefull at the gallery, because there is always a calm before the storm...the storm being Sundance, of course.

With Sundance right around the corner, the gallery is stocked with awesome art - heres a preview of some of our new stuff:

Ron Russon "Mountain Goat"

Mary Scrimgeour "Fly"

Warren Neary "Fading Winter Light"

Ginger Bowen "It's for you, Doll"

Maura Allen "Morning Light"

Some of the new work we are getting into the gallery is absolutely breathtaking - opening the shipments is like a Christmas Day revival. Lucky for me, there will be a lot of that these next few months - we have a couple of really exciting shows opening with some of our really talented artists. Each will be submitting about 15 new pieces for their shows. I am ecstatic. Maren has truly planned this out well, not to mention picked some really exquisite talent to showcase in her gallery. Props to her.

J.Crew on the other hand is run by imbeciles. We must have a table or two with some really really small and some really really big sweaters on it and a few winter coats left, which are now in clearance where sizes are also sparing. We have no more men's outerwear, with the exception of a few hoodies and a handful of corduroy blazers, which don't do you much good against the elements that this area of Utah features, and we are filling the holes that are left by the sale of these winter items... with... (wait for it...) BERMUDA SHORTS! FLIP FLOPS! SILK TANKS! SUMMER DRESSES! Are you effing kidding me? We have people coming into the store basically graveling, asking for wool coats and socks and we have to turn them away and refer them to other stores in the outlets that aren't as thick as we are! On top of this idiocy, J.Crew has also failed to send our store any more sizes in our ever popular 5-Pocket Corduroy Pant and our Cotton Jackie Cardigan! Thus, when a normal sized woman comes in looking for a "size 8" or a "Medium" I have to pretend to look for it even though I know there are only 2s, 14s, xs, and xls. Without bar, I feel like a total jerk every time, and corporate tells us, "Well, this is your first year in this location. We will know better for next year." WTF. Do some effing research as to the location of your next store and realize that it is a ski-town that pulls in millions of people every winter, people from climates that don't know or can afford to not pack properly for this climate where it snows until EFFING MAY! But no, without avail, everytime I go into work at the Crew, I've got to put on my smile-face and sell people cruisewear. For my sanity's sake, lets all take this moment to give J.Crew a great big sarcastic thumbs up. Awesome.

Otherwise, things are going great in not-me-but-you-tah. I used the food processor that Drew's parents got me to make some homemade Butternut Squash soup and it was wonderful. They didnt mess around when choosing a food processor; they went straight for the awesome one cause theyre awesome. Now we can cook all sorts of things and not have to chop another vegetable or grate another cheese by hand again. Huzzah!

Other fascinating tidbits:

• My snowboard finally came in the mail yesterday. Can't wait to try it out on new snow. Will update you when that finally happens. All I need is for Mother Nature to coordinate massive amounts of snowfall with the days I am off.
  
• I have decided to write posts here about people I talk to on the phone. Beware, if you call, you might be featured in a poem by yours truly. Pictures will be chosen from those made available to me by your facebook profile.
  
• I will be receiving a digital camera shortly from a very nice friend who recently bought a new one. Apparently the flash smokes sometimes and its got lens-cap issues, but I think as someone who is not used to the immediate gratification of a digi, I am slightly aroused by the thought of its arrival.
• I miss you.
  

ode to the only lady that faithfully comments on my inane blog posts

an allison TANKA

i called allison
and we talked about things like
big yummy breakfasts
safe methods of birth control
and excessive flatulence.

jfk was a b student?

Ever wonder how JFK did at Harvard?
Now you dont have to.

gas prices

So happy I am in Utah with Betty right now.
Lets just compare:

Staten Island Gas

Park City Gas

Thats right. Easily almost $0.30 cheaper. Yay gas.

I am just going to take this moment to boast that the homepage of Gasbuddy.com (one of TIME's top 50 websites) says that Salt Lake City has the lowest priced gas in the country. Thats right, if I wanted to I could drive 30 miles and find $1.38 gas... and then drive uphill 30 miles back to sit at my computer and blog about it. Which I wont do. Cause thats silly. But I could if I wanted to.

i talked to omari today

MY OMARI POEM

so I talked to omari today.
quite a momentous occasion.
So rare!
i wished i talked to him more,
but i dont.
he said that i could come and stay with him in houston on my way out to utah.
and then he said i couldnt come and stay with him in houston on my way out to utah
so we didnt stay with him in his apartment on our way out to utah.

i miss omari and hope that he is well.
he says he will come and visit me in utah.
i sincerely hope that is true.

i was recently reminded of this one time
when omari was home from houston
for hurricane reasons,
and I was also free,
we decided to hang out.
He said that i should pick him up in front of our old middle school,
which made little sense to me,
but i sat there idling in my mother's red minivan, still.

He wasn't there.

I called him
multiple times
as per usual
and finally after a few inaudible exchanges
Omari stepped out of a black SUV that pulled up on the other side of the street
something an elusive rockstar or shady personality would do.

We drove around and talked about things
like we always do
which was nice
comforting
revives my faith in connection between people on earth.
We talked about how we think there will be a book
or perhaps only a chapter
written about the time we are living in right now.
Bush! Obama! Economy! War!
It was so right
such a profound thought at the time
but the more I think about it, there are books
written about every time.
Is there a time you cannot find something written on?
So one day there will be a book
written on this time that we are living in
this time that we predicted would be chronicled in print
and I will buy that book
and write something nice in it
and send it to Omari.
Wherever he may be.

After we talked about books on time,
it was time to go back home.
Wherever that may be.
I always hate dropping Omari off,
specifically, at his house behind the JoAnn's
because the older we get,
and the further apart we move,
I dont know the next time I will get to see
Omari.

geared up.

With the exception of actually going to purchase my season pass, I am officially geared up to hit the slopes and practice not falling on my bum. Last night culminated in the pushing of "Submit Order" on sierrasnowboard.com and purchasing the 2007 Palmer Touch. Parsing through the easily concocted spec set, the board is boasted to be "easy to control, smooth and forgiving... support[ing] your own pace anywhere you ride".

All I have to say is fabulous.

I also purchased boots and bindings last week from Milosport, easily one of the nicest board shops in SLC, at least compared to Salty Peaks. The dude who helped me out gave me a nice discout and made sure to get me what I wanted instead of trying to sell me top of the line items for full price. A good salesman though, he made sure to give us the specs on all of the top of the line items, while politely tightening my boots and getting me my discout bindings.

Both are Solomon brand and, while I can only speak for the boots, they are comfortable as heck and I cant wait to try them out.

As luck would have it Drew was able to find his Custom Burton for half price at Milo as well. It was so nice to see him so happy. Hes searched far and www.wide.com for this board in his size and the adventure to find him a board for the price and quality that he desired ended with the salesman committing to 50% off. Deal. Beyond being equipped with the top whatever premier snowboard technology out there, its pretty to look at.



a deal indeed.

officially geared up and ready to go. woo hoo for credit cards.

are we human... or are we sun-dancers?

I am officially volunteering for Sundance, via the Park City Film Series. The site where they hold the film series is being used as a Sundance venue and they are looking for volunteers. I am pulling the 9pm to 12 am shift on January 18, 21, and 24th. By doing so I get three passes to three different Sundance films and also a 6-punch pass to the PC Film Series. Can't beat that!

The Sundance lineup looks pretty interesting,

SUNDANCE FILM GUIDE

though I am not sure which film to go see. Do you go for actor or director? Its a tough call.


Option #1: A film directed and starring John Krasinski (Jim from The Office) called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Its based on the book by David Foster Wallace, the author of Infinite Jest, whom Drew has recently sumberged himself in. While I tell him not to talk to me about the book, as it has peaked my interest with the few things he has told me about it and I hope to read it eventually, I would seriously consider seeing this film...


Option #2: There is also another film starring Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Don Cheadle, Wesley Snipes, and Ellen Barkin called Brooklyn's Finest. Beyond the stunning lineup, the movie description boasts, "crosscutting between multiple subplots, Brooklyn's Finest unfolds violently and passionately as coiled, constantly roving cinematography contributes a measure of unease to the underworld action." I love the idea of seeing this concept unfold on screen. However, despite the stunning lineup, I have never heard of the director, Antoine Fuqua.


Option #3: There's always Jim Carrey in a dramatic role, which I always marvel at. I Love You Phillip Morris follows Carrey, a con, falling in love with his eventual roomate who goes by the name of Phillip Morris. So there's that


Option #4: What would Sundance be without the token Culkin coming-of-age film, this time focusing on Rory instead of Kieran (whatever happened to MacCauley?). Lymelife seems sad but intriguing.


Option #5: Adam Elliot, the Aussie Academy Award winning director of the claymation feature Harvey Krumpet, has come out with what is sure to be Masterpiece #2 Mary and Max. There's always that.


Option #6: Michael Cera makes an apperance at Sundance in Paper Heart, and there has never been a Cera moment that hasn't made me fall further in love with him and his career. The movie plot doesn't really reel me in (pardon the fishing-turned-film pun) but sometimes you gotta give an obscure movie about modern romantic cynicism a shot.


Option #7: If not just for Gael Garcia Benal, then for Diego Luna, or for Carlos Cuaron - all three having a hand in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Rudo y Cursi is a classic Latin film about futbol. C'mon, let's go watch these boys run around and sweat. God, I'm such a man-izer.


Option #8: They are bringing back Steven Soderbergh's sex, lies and videotape, the film single-handedly responsible for bringing Sundance to the forefront, is being shown. Should I opt for a classic? Though, I can probably find this on DVD...


Option #9: There is always a Kevin Spacey flick - especially intriguing is that he is a Shrink in the aptly titled film. Quite a shift from his role in American Beauty; more along the lines of Negotiator. Could be good...

So you see the options and decisions that lie ahead of me.

My question for you, the reader, meaning Allison, which would you go see? Feel free to open my eyes to something other than American, Aussie, or Mexican. There are tons of Canadians and a few other countries represented...I have yet to go through all of the ones that didn't catch my eye on the first skim through.

the rich people are in town!

So December 26th marks the first day of serious tourist occupancy in Park City.

The parking lot at the base of the gondola to take you up to the Canyons resort went from scarce to packed overnight.

Drew's midnight trip to the Albertson supermarket (a step above a nice Stop and Shop) last night brought stories of nightmarish visions of empty shelves and spilled beer and broken bottles in the aisles. While telling me this story, I envisioned flickering lights swinging above his head in the cereal aisle as soft focus shadows darted just beyond his peripheral vision. "They were out of 2% milk! And there was no Gouda cheese, just a few packages of $13 Jarlsberg and Baby Bell! It was like something out of a horror movie. It was like the shadiest supermarket in Saratoga Springs right before a blizzard. It was so strange."

A horror movie indeed.

Park City is ransacked with desperate vacationers.

Correction: desperate RICH-beyond-my-wildest-fancy vacationers.

The economically elevated tourist finds themself in interesting relationship with "locals". (No body is actually from Park City, so therefore, very few true locals actually exist. Most "locals" fluctuate in and out of town right before and after the busy season.) While the town depends on them as consumers of luxury (as the tourists are paying top dollar to be able to shut their minds off and just vacation), Park City folks find their reliance on the tourist married to a simultaneous blossoming disdain for their parasitic invasion of the town. The density of people in Park City has quadrupled (at least) and can not only witnessed by the horror movie supermarket situation, but also at the crowded lift lines and slopes at the mountains, the packed restaurants, and the bumper-to-bumper traffic coming in and out of town proper. Park Citizens find themselves now breathing in an entirely different air compared to the pre-holiday, stress-free, no-traffic, mountain fresh, granola atmosphere. The breaths are shallower, more intense - frankly it now feels more like NYC more than ever - all in response to these rich fogies.

A part of the fogie equation that is often neglected until too late - rich fogies have a tendency to make offspring in order to eventually pass on their wealth and family name. Oh, we cannot neglect the rich brats. What about having money either makes your child skip childhood altogether and become a 30 year old aristocrat trapped in a 8 year old's body or transforms your child into the spoiled spawn of Satan? These kids are either blindly inserted into the daily itinerary or more often they dictate it. Brats fuel Park City's economy just as much as the fogies do. I'm convinced.

Yesterday, while working J.Crew, these two siblings were roughhousing by the women's silk shirt display out of their parents sight. To get them to calm down a fellow employee jested, "You shouldn't be roughhousing around this part of the store; this is our expensive stuff." All the employees acknowledged his sarcasm with a slight giggle. Now, it is important to note that at this point most kids would be embarrassed that someone other than their parents just scolded them. Not these brats.

The big brown eyes on the older of the two widened as he pouted his lips and placed one hand on his hip and pointed at the silk shirts, "My dad can buy ALL this stuff." He proceeds to make a 360 pointing motion, implying that not only could his dad buy ALL of the silk shirts, but also the silk lined wool skirts, our entire stock of chinos (in black, brown, and standard khaki), the display of graphic tees that layed neatly folded in stacks on the table to his right, and the blazers hanging behind him. I would also go so far as to say he was implying that his father could buy our entire inventory, which frankly could be the honest truth. He then manufactured the most rancid face I've ever seen on what could have barely been an 8 year old and sternly walked away.

Who did this kid think he was? "My dad can buy ALL this stuff?" What a little jerk. I dont care if his father was Sean effing Penn. As flabbergasted employees of a factory outlet, where our stuff really isnt that expensive, we couldn't help but laugh, but seriously, though, how did that come out of this kid's mouth? Unbelievable. It gives you just insight as to the kind of people and the certain level of tongue in cheek disrespect that Park Citizens in the service industry are having to deal with.

Not all tourists are super rich, but frankly most of them are toting some sort of wealth around with them. Not all who tote the dough are painful company, but there is definitely a difference in the way people around Park City are treated by these folks compared to teh few visitors a few weeks ago. The conundrum: I want rich fogies around when I am sitting in the gallery or standing in J.Crew. I want to sell them beautiful (and expensive) art; I want them to buy over $500 worth of clothing. I want to keep them around to make money off of their investments. Conversely, I want them to vanish before my eyes when I am throwing myself down the mountain or when I am driving home from work. I want Drew to be able to go to Albertsons and buy 2% Milk without having to step through a surreal nightmare. I want to exile some of the rich brats to Moldovia to let them realize that theres more to life than daddy buying "ALL this stuff"; their actions come with more repercussions than a dollar sign or two.

Oh how living in a ski town is like no other.