"If it really hurts, just pound the snow."

Today was my third day on the mountain. Total hours Monica has snowboarded: 9.

I realize that when it comes to snowboarding, I have a commitment problem.

I am definitely committed to learning (I think my financial investment thus far is testament to that or at the very least shackles me to making it worth every penny). What I am unable to commit to is ruling out my of fear of falling or going too fast and subsequently falling while strapped to the snowboard.

Snowboarding is unlike ANYTHING I have ever done. I hate ice skating, I never tried skateboarding out of fear of asphalt and my face meeting, I never loved rollerblading (that was more of my sister's gig), and I have never had the opportunity to surf or wakeboard or anything. I liked riding my bike, that was about it. My family isn't into winter sports, so our vacations were filled with hikes, canoeing, rollerskating, andplaying tennis. Until December 25, 2008 I had never done anything akin to skiing, snowboarding, etc. I now find myself living in Park City, home to three resorts that bring tons of seasonal workers and tourists who come out here to do just that - ski, snowboard. While strapped to a snowboard I am so out of my element that I am devoid of any concept of how to do anything, and that is such a weird insecure feeling. I am unsure of how anything works, how I am supposed to position my body, what I should try not to do, etc. This is where a lesson comes into play, you say - with the whole learning process, easing me into the sport, acquainting me with the movements, tools, equipment, etc. But while I took a lesson, and it was most certainly everything a crash course in snowboarding should be - i.e. tumbling - it is really taking a while for me to successfully be able put basic movements into practice.

I need to feel more confident and the only way I can do that is by getting better. Getting better means linking turns and not falling. Linking turns and not falling only happens when you fearlessly commit to moving your body instead of fearfully anticipating a turn and over-thinking your actions. It must be frustrating to watch me do just that because I am sure as heck frustrated with myself every time I fail to do what I want to do with my body or the board.

What made today different from any other day out there was not only the noticeably elevated quality of my performance from Day 1/Hour 1, but today was the first day I did a run with Drew! YAY! After my third solo run, where I didn't fall uncontrollably once, my slightly-more-confident-stubborn-self decided to finally call Drew to ask him to come help me practice how to turn. I am nervous about hitting the trails with Drew because amidst wanting to impress him cause I love him and I want him to be proud of me, I was nervous that he would get aggravated because I'm not very good. Silly but true. However, regardless of the fact that I am self-conscious on the slopes and he is awesome, he managed to help me to better understand how turning is supposed to happen instead of me trial-and-erroring by myself all over the place.

It was nice.

The best advice he gave today was after I stopped short and fell straight on my tailbone, the kind of fall that you can feel in your nose. I made a pouty face and he said, "If it really hurts, just pound the snow. It's all you can do. You can give yourself two seconds and then you have to get up again. Come on. Get up." hahahahahaha. Gotta love it.

I can honestly say that though I "had fun" my first two times out there, they ended painfully and when it was all over I was disappointed with myself and how badly I sucked. This was the first time I can say I felt better out there, and that's such a nice feeling. I successfully turned a couple of times, thanks to Drew's instruction. Its still not something I totally comprehend, nor does it come naturally, but I can definitely feel myself loosening up a bit.

And thats enough progress for me to feel just a bit more confident.

"News from the top"
Snowboarding, Day 3.
I can confidently say
things fall into place.

"May I have this Sundance?"

At this point, all in Park City are counting down the hours until Sundance 2009 kicks off tomorrow. Main Street is offically a "Loading ONLY" zone and there are people in town that definitely mark the transition from the average mountee townee to trendy socialite. I went to the corner "cafe" for a quick bite this evening - delicious club sandwich btw - and after chatting with him for a moment, he said that business has offically begun for him. He is the only venue within reasonable walking distance that sells cigarettes. While normally a non-popular product while mountee townees are roaming, Sundance brings him the big cancerous biz. Over the years he has figured out what brands sell at Sundance and he only carries those. How intelligently hysterical. He says that since this morning he has sold 54 packs of cigarettes. Normally, he's lucky if he sells ten. "At a bargain $6 a pack, thats serious revenue," I said. "Yeah, though the smokers don't usually buy food here, so its a fair financial substitue for anything my lunch menu...That'll be $6.50," he says as he hands me my sandwich.

I have been told by a few locals that ticket sales are up from last year, an unexpected statistic considering the current national economic situation and the Utah-supported-Prop-8 boycotters. Interestingly, however, there are less reservations and rentals citywide. A visitor to the gallery explained that she always rents her house out at Sundance, and while she had her advertisement up on Craigslist for months, she only in the past week got a renter. This was after she dropped her price $150 from her original nightly asking price which was $1200. Among her friends, she said she got lucky. She, among other locals I have spoken to, believe this Sundance marks the year of the local. Ticket sales might be up and Sundance is an event sure to bring people to town regardless of money, but I can see how a combination of the state of the economy and Utah boycotters in lieu of Prop-8 passing are effecting those in attendance of Sundance.

On my walk back from the cafe I was stopped in front of what is usually Montgomery Lee Fine Art (one of the classiest, oldest, galleries on Main Street) so that a group of ripped men in tight tees could carry a piece of furniture from a moving van into the gallery space. Another stylish man wearing thick hipster glasses was fixing a "Q" logo sticker on the door. Upon looking in, I saw that the entire first floor had been transformed from your typical gallery space into a neon blue glowing club setting, complete with couches and bar area. Absolut's Queer Lounge has officially tagged their territory, despite all of the Prop 8 crap that has gone down here. Or should I say IN spite of. I was glad to see this up and happening, cause frankly as much as boycotting makes a statement, I think visibility and action make a much louder noise. Come to Utah, raise hell. Its a much needed change of pace that very closeted mindsets need in order to instill any sort of EVENTUAL change. I am not saying that Park City is not gay-friendly; I am saying Park City might be the only place that is gay-friendly, in addition to some holes of SLC. Hopefully raising some sort of awareness, maybe even making a few local headlines, will dissuade a few brainwashed turds.

the calm before the storm

Park City has calmed down a bit.

The Christmas roar has subsided; the out-of-towners that are now in-town have consciously chosen to arrive January 2: the departure date for most in town for the holidays. They have probably been part of the holiday tsunami that takes hold of Park City years in the past, but they are the kind of people who learn from their mistakes. They like to be able to get reservations at restaurants or spas; they like to (probably) ski without having to dodge the folks trying out the new gear that was gifted to them Christmas morn. They like to be able to go food shopping and have a choice of products. Its nice to be able to walk up and down Main Street without feeling as though you are in Times Square.

On the flipside, sales at both the gallery and J.Crew are down, severely. Though that seems to be the nationwide trend that is boasted about on the homepage of the Times, this is supposed to be Park City's money-making peak and we find ourselves left with some snow and 35 degree F futures. Un-good. Very un-good. We are hopefull at the gallery, because there is always a calm before the storm...the storm being Sundance, of course.

With Sundance right around the corner, the gallery is stocked with awesome art - heres a preview of some of our new stuff:

Ron Russon "Mountain Goat"

Mary Scrimgeour "Fly"

Warren Neary "Fading Winter Light"

Ginger Bowen "It's for you, Doll"

Maura Allen "Morning Light"

Some of the new work we are getting into the gallery is absolutely breathtaking - opening the shipments is like a Christmas Day revival. Lucky for me, there will be a lot of that these next few months - we have a couple of really exciting shows opening with some of our really talented artists. Each will be submitting about 15 new pieces for their shows. I am ecstatic. Maren has truly planned this out well, not to mention picked some really exquisite talent to showcase in her gallery. Props to her.

J.Crew on the other hand is run by imbeciles. We must have a table or two with some really really small and some really really big sweaters on it and a few winter coats left, which are now in clearance where sizes are also sparing. We have no more men's outerwear, with the exception of a few hoodies and a handful of corduroy blazers, which don't do you much good against the elements that this area of Utah features, and we are filling the holes that are left by the sale of these winter items... with... (wait for it...) BERMUDA SHORTS! FLIP FLOPS! SILK TANKS! SUMMER DRESSES! Are you effing kidding me? We have people coming into the store basically graveling, asking for wool coats and socks and we have to turn them away and refer them to other stores in the outlets that aren't as thick as we are! On top of this idiocy, J.Crew has also failed to send our store any more sizes in our ever popular 5-Pocket Corduroy Pant and our Cotton Jackie Cardigan! Thus, when a normal sized woman comes in looking for a "size 8" or a "Medium" I have to pretend to look for it even though I know there are only 2s, 14s, xs, and xls. Without bar, I feel like a total jerk every time, and corporate tells us, "Well, this is your first year in this location. We will know better for next year." WTF. Do some effing research as to the location of your next store and realize that it is a ski-town that pulls in millions of people every winter, people from climates that don't know or can afford to not pack properly for this climate where it snows until EFFING MAY! But no, without avail, everytime I go into work at the Crew, I've got to put on my smile-face and sell people cruisewear. For my sanity's sake, lets all take this moment to give J.Crew a great big sarcastic thumbs up. Awesome.

Otherwise, things are going great in not-me-but-you-tah. I used the food processor that Drew's parents got me to make some homemade Butternut Squash soup and it was wonderful. They didnt mess around when choosing a food processor; they went straight for the awesome one cause theyre awesome. Now we can cook all sorts of things and not have to chop another vegetable or grate another cheese by hand again. Huzzah!

Other fascinating tidbits:

• My snowboard finally came in the mail yesterday. Can't wait to try it out on new snow. Will update you when that finally happens. All I need is for Mother Nature to coordinate massive amounts of snowfall with the days I am off.
  
• I have decided to write posts here about people I talk to on the phone. Beware, if you call, you might be featured in a poem by yours truly. Pictures will be chosen from those made available to me by your facebook profile.
  
• I will be receiving a digital camera shortly from a very nice friend who recently bought a new one. Apparently the flash smokes sometimes and its got lens-cap issues, but I think as someone who is not used to the immediate gratification of a digi, I am slightly aroused by the thought of its arrival.
• I miss you.
  

ode to the only lady that faithfully comments on my inane blog posts

an allison TANKA

i called allison
and we talked about things like
big yummy breakfasts
safe methods of birth control
and excessive flatulence.

jfk was a b student?

Ever wonder how JFK did at Harvard?
Now you dont have to.

gas prices

So happy I am in Utah with Betty right now.
Lets just compare:

Staten Island Gas

Park City Gas

Thats right. Easily almost $0.30 cheaper. Yay gas.

I am just going to take this moment to boast that the homepage of Gasbuddy.com (one of TIME's top 50 websites) says that Salt Lake City has the lowest priced gas in the country. Thats right, if I wanted to I could drive 30 miles and find $1.38 gas... and then drive uphill 30 miles back to sit at my computer and blog about it. Which I wont do. Cause thats silly. But I could if I wanted to.

i talked to omari today

MY OMARI POEM

so I talked to omari today.
quite a momentous occasion.
So rare!
i wished i talked to him more,
but i dont.
he said that i could come and stay with him in houston on my way out to utah.
and then he said i couldnt come and stay with him in houston on my way out to utah
so we didnt stay with him in his apartment on our way out to utah.

i miss omari and hope that he is well.
he says he will come and visit me in utah.
i sincerely hope that is true.

i was recently reminded of this one time
when omari was home from houston
for hurricane reasons,
and I was also free,
we decided to hang out.
He said that i should pick him up in front of our old middle school,
which made little sense to me,
but i sat there idling in my mother's red minivan, still.

He wasn't there.

I called him
multiple times
as per usual
and finally after a few inaudible exchanges
Omari stepped out of a black SUV that pulled up on the other side of the street
something an elusive rockstar or shady personality would do.

We drove around and talked about things
like we always do
which was nice
comforting
revives my faith in connection between people on earth.
We talked about how we think there will be a book
or perhaps only a chapter
written about the time we are living in right now.
Bush! Obama! Economy! War!
It was so right
such a profound thought at the time
but the more I think about it, there are books
written about every time.
Is there a time you cannot find something written on?
So one day there will be a book
written on this time that we are living in
this time that we predicted would be chronicled in print
and I will buy that book
and write something nice in it
and send it to Omari.
Wherever he may be.

After we talked about books on time,
it was time to go back home.
Wherever that may be.
I always hate dropping Omari off,
specifically, at his house behind the JoAnn's
because the older we get,
and the further apart we move,
I dont know the next time I will get to see
Omari.

geared up.

With the exception of actually going to purchase my season pass, I am officially geared up to hit the slopes and practice not falling on my bum. Last night culminated in the pushing of "Submit Order" on sierrasnowboard.com and purchasing the 2007 Palmer Touch. Parsing through the easily concocted spec set, the board is boasted to be "easy to control, smooth and forgiving... support[ing] your own pace anywhere you ride".

All I have to say is fabulous.

I also purchased boots and bindings last week from Milosport, easily one of the nicest board shops in SLC, at least compared to Salty Peaks. The dude who helped me out gave me a nice discout and made sure to get me what I wanted instead of trying to sell me top of the line items for full price. A good salesman though, he made sure to give us the specs on all of the top of the line items, while politely tightening my boots and getting me my discout bindings.

Both are Solomon brand and, while I can only speak for the boots, they are comfortable as heck and I cant wait to try them out.

As luck would have it Drew was able to find his Custom Burton for half price at Milo as well. It was so nice to see him so happy. Hes searched far and www.wide.com for this board in his size and the adventure to find him a board for the price and quality that he desired ended with the salesman committing to 50% off. Deal. Beyond being equipped with the top whatever premier snowboard technology out there, its pretty to look at.



a deal indeed.

officially geared up and ready to go. woo hoo for credit cards.

are we human... or are we sun-dancers?

I am officially volunteering for Sundance, via the Park City Film Series. The site where they hold the film series is being used as a Sundance venue and they are looking for volunteers. I am pulling the 9pm to 12 am shift on January 18, 21, and 24th. By doing so I get three passes to three different Sundance films and also a 6-punch pass to the PC Film Series. Can't beat that!

The Sundance lineup looks pretty interesting,

SUNDANCE FILM GUIDE

though I am not sure which film to go see. Do you go for actor or director? Its a tough call.


Option #1: A film directed and starring John Krasinski (Jim from The Office) called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Its based on the book by David Foster Wallace, the author of Infinite Jest, whom Drew has recently sumberged himself in. While I tell him not to talk to me about the book, as it has peaked my interest with the few things he has told me about it and I hope to read it eventually, I would seriously consider seeing this film...


Option #2: There is also another film starring Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Don Cheadle, Wesley Snipes, and Ellen Barkin called Brooklyn's Finest. Beyond the stunning lineup, the movie description boasts, "crosscutting between multiple subplots, Brooklyn's Finest unfolds violently and passionately as coiled, constantly roving cinematography contributes a measure of unease to the underworld action." I love the idea of seeing this concept unfold on screen. However, despite the stunning lineup, I have never heard of the director, Antoine Fuqua.


Option #3: There's always Jim Carrey in a dramatic role, which I always marvel at. I Love You Phillip Morris follows Carrey, a con, falling in love with his eventual roomate who goes by the name of Phillip Morris. So there's that


Option #4: What would Sundance be without the token Culkin coming-of-age film, this time focusing on Rory instead of Kieran (whatever happened to MacCauley?). Lymelife seems sad but intriguing.


Option #5: Adam Elliot, the Aussie Academy Award winning director of the claymation feature Harvey Krumpet, has come out with what is sure to be Masterpiece #2 Mary and Max. There's always that.


Option #6: Michael Cera makes an apperance at Sundance in Paper Heart, and there has never been a Cera moment that hasn't made me fall further in love with him and his career. The movie plot doesn't really reel me in (pardon the fishing-turned-film pun) but sometimes you gotta give an obscure movie about modern romantic cynicism a shot.


Option #7: If not just for Gael Garcia Benal, then for Diego Luna, or for Carlos Cuaron - all three having a hand in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Rudo y Cursi is a classic Latin film about futbol. C'mon, let's go watch these boys run around and sweat. God, I'm such a man-izer.


Option #8: They are bringing back Steven Soderbergh's sex, lies and videotape, the film single-handedly responsible for bringing Sundance to the forefront, is being shown. Should I opt for a classic? Though, I can probably find this on DVD...


Option #9: There is always a Kevin Spacey flick - especially intriguing is that he is a Shrink in the aptly titled film. Quite a shift from his role in American Beauty; more along the lines of Negotiator. Could be good...

So you see the options and decisions that lie ahead of me.

My question for you, the reader, meaning Allison, which would you go see? Feel free to open my eyes to something other than American, Aussie, or Mexican. There are tons of Canadians and a few other countries represented...I have yet to go through all of the ones that didn't catch my eye on the first skim through.

the rich people are in town!

So December 26th marks the first day of serious tourist occupancy in Park City.

The parking lot at the base of the gondola to take you up to the Canyons resort went from scarce to packed overnight.

Drew's midnight trip to the Albertson supermarket (a step above a nice Stop and Shop) last night brought stories of nightmarish visions of empty shelves and spilled beer and broken bottles in the aisles. While telling me this story, I envisioned flickering lights swinging above his head in the cereal aisle as soft focus shadows darted just beyond his peripheral vision. "They were out of 2% milk! And there was no Gouda cheese, just a few packages of $13 Jarlsberg and Baby Bell! It was like something out of a horror movie. It was like the shadiest supermarket in Saratoga Springs right before a blizzard. It was so strange."

A horror movie indeed.

Park City is ransacked with desperate vacationers.

Correction: desperate RICH-beyond-my-wildest-fancy vacationers.

The economically elevated tourist finds themself in interesting relationship with "locals". (No body is actually from Park City, so therefore, very few true locals actually exist. Most "locals" fluctuate in and out of town right before and after the busy season.) While the town depends on them as consumers of luxury (as the tourists are paying top dollar to be able to shut their minds off and just vacation), Park City folks find their reliance on the tourist married to a simultaneous blossoming disdain for their parasitic invasion of the town. The density of people in Park City has quadrupled (at least) and can not only witnessed by the horror movie supermarket situation, but also at the crowded lift lines and slopes at the mountains, the packed restaurants, and the bumper-to-bumper traffic coming in and out of town proper. Park Citizens find themselves now breathing in an entirely different air compared to the pre-holiday, stress-free, no-traffic, mountain fresh, granola atmosphere. The breaths are shallower, more intense - frankly it now feels more like NYC more than ever - all in response to these rich fogies.

A part of the fogie equation that is often neglected until too late - rich fogies have a tendency to make offspring in order to eventually pass on their wealth and family name. Oh, we cannot neglect the rich brats. What about having money either makes your child skip childhood altogether and become a 30 year old aristocrat trapped in a 8 year old's body or transforms your child into the spoiled spawn of Satan? These kids are either blindly inserted into the daily itinerary or more often they dictate it. Brats fuel Park City's economy just as much as the fogies do. I'm convinced.

Yesterday, while working J.Crew, these two siblings were roughhousing by the women's silk shirt display out of their parents sight. To get them to calm down a fellow employee jested, "You shouldn't be roughhousing around this part of the store; this is our expensive stuff." All the employees acknowledged his sarcasm with a slight giggle. Now, it is important to note that at this point most kids would be embarrassed that someone other than their parents just scolded them. Not these brats.

The big brown eyes on the older of the two widened as he pouted his lips and placed one hand on his hip and pointed at the silk shirts, "My dad can buy ALL this stuff." He proceeds to make a 360 pointing motion, implying that not only could his dad buy ALL of the silk shirts, but also the silk lined wool skirts, our entire stock of chinos (in black, brown, and standard khaki), the display of graphic tees that layed neatly folded in stacks on the table to his right, and the blazers hanging behind him. I would also go so far as to say he was implying that his father could buy our entire inventory, which frankly could be the honest truth. He then manufactured the most rancid face I've ever seen on what could have barely been an 8 year old and sternly walked away.

Who did this kid think he was? "My dad can buy ALL this stuff?" What a little jerk. I dont care if his father was Sean effing Penn. As flabbergasted employees of a factory outlet, where our stuff really isnt that expensive, we couldn't help but laugh, but seriously, though, how did that come out of this kid's mouth? Unbelievable. It gives you just insight as to the kind of people and the certain level of tongue in cheek disrespect that Park Citizens in the service industry are having to deal with.

Not all tourists are super rich, but frankly most of them are toting some sort of wealth around with them. Not all who tote the dough are painful company, but there is definitely a difference in the way people around Park City are treated by these folks compared to teh few visitors a few weeks ago. The conundrum: I want rich fogies around when I am sitting in the gallery or standing in J.Crew. I want to sell them beautiful (and expensive) art; I want them to buy over $500 worth of clothing. I want to keep them around to make money off of their investments. Conversely, I want them to vanish before my eyes when I am throwing myself down the mountain or when I am driving home from work. I want Drew to be able to go to Albertsons and buy 2% Milk without having to step through a surreal nightmare. I want to exile some of the rich brats to Moldovia to let them realize that theres more to life than daddy buying "ALL this stuff"; their actions come with more repercussions than a dollar sign or two.

Oh how living in a ski town is like no other.

MERRY CHRISTMAS: "i wouldn't quite call it shredding... though i believe the word "tumbling" sums it up pretty well..."

Today.
I am the sorest I have been since my first day of pilates at Vassar with Theresa kicking my butt.

Yesterday,
My first day snowboarding.
EVER

Incredible. In every way.
Incredibly fun.
Incredibly hard.
Incredibly painful.
Incredibly cold.
Incredibly beautiful.
Incredibly fast.
Incredibly unsteady.
Incredibly snowy.

Can I just stress how hard it is to learn, especially for someone who isn't terribly coordinated or skilled in the way of doing things that are lacking friction with the ground. Not to mention I easily submit to the laws of gravity, so hence the bruises and aching muscles.

Besides feeling like I am recovering from being hit by a bus, it was awesome. And despite feeling like I am recovering from a fall from the top of a very tall building, I would do it again in a heartbeat... if it was free... and once I wasn't this sore.

It was simultaneously the most liberating and hardest thing I've done in a long time, and I couldn't think of a better way of spending Christmas morning. Drew had to work 7am-4pm and my lesson was from 9:15am-3:00pm. Perfect. The mountain was empty in the morning. No lines, no "let's-try-out-my-new-gear-that-I-got-for-Christmas" tourists, and tons and tons of new snow. The flakes kept falling, covering the tracks of those that had shredded or fallen before you.

My instructor sucked, but I learned a lot.

I also fell a lot. Most of the falls were great; my forearms or bum hitting the fresh powder. Only once, on what I made sure was my last run, did I bite it so hard that my head began throbbing as soon as I stopped sliding. That was when I called it a day and took the lift back down.

I called Drew on my lunchbreak and he asked, "how is my little shredder doing?"

I responded with, "i wouldn't quite call it shredding... though i believe the word "tumbling" sums it up pretty well... but I am better than I was a couple of hours ago!"

yehaw.

MY FIRST SOLO-SALE!

I made my first solo-sale today at 5:30PM MST today! YAY! It was truly a rush. Pictured above, it is a light-hearted piece by a CO artist Mary Scrimgeour. Her work is highly influenced by math and music. They are highly textured and the surfaces are intensely worked. This work, Black Dog is 20 x 20, she always works on square canvases, and is one of my favorites of her new pieces in the gallery.

Off to gift wrap it and celebrate my awesomeness!!!

mmm cheese mites...

I recently tried a French cheese by the name of Mimolette. It is officially one of my top five favorite cheeses. Made even more fabulous when paired with a 2006 Fleur de California Pinot Noir, though I could see how the strong nutty flavor of the heavenly aged milk would go well with a sweeter wine as well.


Delicious. Okay. But this post is more than just to let you know I eat cheese. In honor of one of my favorite shows, Good Eats with Alton Brown, lets talk about how the cheese is made.

Louis XIV wanted a French cheese to resemble the Dutch cheese Edam (also delicious). Though, in order to make it "French," he decided to color it orange. What a French prick, good cheese though. So this cow’s milk cheese is aged anywhere from six months to two years and stored in a moist environment. It’s turned once a week and begins to develop a hard crater-like surface.

THE CRATERS ARE ACTUALLY THE RESULT OF CHEESE MITES THAT EAT INTO THE CHEESE AT IT AGES. THE MITES (ciron) ARE BRUSHED OFF THE FREAKIN' CHEESE ON A REGULAR BASIS AS TO MATURE THE FLAVOR OF THE CHEESE WITHOUT HANDING IT OVER TO THE LITTLE BUGGERS! BUT DONT WORRY, THEY COME BACK. WHICH CREATES THE HARD GREY RIND AROUND THE YUMMY ORANGE CHEESE.


I mean, I know cheese is aged milk, which could be considered deliciously disgusting to begin with, but do we really need to invite the bugs? to hang out on my cheese? Do bugs really make my cheese taste good? Better than otherwise leaving it alone? Thats unfortunately interesting, though its hard not to think about the creepy crawling ciron in all of my imaginative forms while noshing on the firm wonder that is Mimolette. I guess its a good thing that I was sloshing back a natural anticeptic - Pinot Noir.

Oh how the good things in life only get tastier with age... and mites.

I met utah's indiana jones

The gallery opening Friday night went well, considering the snowstorm that closed I-80 eastbound into PC and scattered cars and trucks along the sides of highways and smaller roads. the storm lasted a little over 19 hours and dumped over a foot or so on our little heads. Despite the chaos that the storm presented our attendees (or lackthereof) with, we had a decent turn out. One sale, many conversations. Overall, I think it went very well.

I wish I could say that the sale was the highlight of the evening, and while it is great, I must confess... the commission I made on that sale cannot compare to the conversation that I had with the father of one of our artists.

He is Utah's own Indiana Jones.

In general, Utahns love outdoors sports - hiking and biking in the summers; skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing in the winter - but apparently there are quite a few Utahns who dedicate their lives to combing the varied terrain of the state for secret treasures. Some are in search of a particular treasure - the lost Aztec city of Aztlan.

Aztlan is the mythical place of origin of the Aztec peoples. In their language (Nahuatl), the roots of the word Aztlan are the two words: aztatl and tlan meaning "heron" and "place of," respectively. 'Tlan' proper means tooth, and as a good tooth is firmly rooted in place, and does not move, the prefix of this word is commonly used in Nahuatl to denote settlements, or place names, e.g. Mazatlan (place of deer), Papalotlan (place of butterflies) or Tepoztlan (place of metal). The Nahuatl language is often said to include three levels of meaning for its words or expressions: literal, syncretic and connotative. The connotative meaning of Aztlan, due to the color of the plumage of herons, is "Place of Whiteness." The mythical descriptions of Aztlan would have it to be an island, as depicted in the map above.

In the origin myths of the Aztecs, it is believed that their people emerged from the bowels of the earth through seven caves (Chicomostoc) and settled in Aztlan, from which they subsequently undertook a migration southward in search of a sign that would indicate that they should settle once more. This myth roughly coincides with the known history of the Aztecs as a migratory horde that migrated from present-day northwestern Mexico into the central plateau sometime toward the end of the first millennium AD.

The exact physical location of Aztlan is unknown, other than it could have been located near estuaries or on the coast of northwestern Mexico, though some archaeologists have gone so far as to locate the present town of San Felipe Aztlan, Nayarit, as the exact place. Sources of water are important in considering its location, as it is most often considered to have been an island.

While the location of Aztlan is hotly debated, it is believed by some scholars to be in Utah based on studies that have been done (mere speculations if you ask me) of Pre-Ice Age Aztec migration patterns. The map below shows some of these routes.

Turns out, Mormons are actually very interested in this theory that Aztlan is located in Utah. Without getting into too much detail, Mormon history traces lost Israelite tribes (Nephites and Lamanites) through North America. If Aztlan is truly located in Utah, then the myth of Quetzalcoatl, the white god who appeared in the Americas, justifies (in the LDS' mind) the Book of Mormon and its tale of Jesus Christ appearing in the "New World" after his resurrection.

Crazy shit, no? Look it up, there are tons of sites dedicated to this stuff.

Either way, Indiana Jones claims to have found Aztlan.

We started this whole conversation talking about driving in snow. He told me that he drives about an hour from Park City to his parking spot, where he keeps his snowmobile that he rides another 40 minutes to get to his camp. "Camp?" I ask. "What do you do there?" Its where he works... as a treasure hunter. He goes on splunking missions, cave exploring, and plain old Indiana Jones kind of activities. He claims to have found mummies, gold, seer stones, cave writings, tablets with writings on them, weapons, utilitarian objects, you name it, hes found it. "Pardon my skepticism, but if I told you I had a hard time believing you, what would you say?" He said nothing and just leaned over to be able to pull this small orange tupperwear from his pocket. He snapped the top off and dumped a gold coin with a sun symbol on it into my hands. "I never leave home without it. I was robbed once, a lot of my stuff was stolen. Now I keep all of my findings in a trailer in the desert in the south [of Utah]."

All I could do was stare at the coin in my hand. Was it truly over 15,000 years old? Forged by Aztecs? Part of a currency of a lost city? Was this guy a total quack?

My conversation with him went on for almost an hour. He was captivating in the way I would imagine the folks who shoot Planet Earth or an Astronaut would be. He had stories about getting injured on solo expeditions and having to crawl back to his camp, taking days. I could've talked to him for another hour, easily. Apparently, he is documenting his findings very carefully. He takes photographs and works with a team of filmmakers who are in the process of making a documentary film to eventually be submitted to Sundance. So look to the next few festivals for the documentary which I would easily title, "Indiana Jones and The Lost City of Aztlan". Awesome.

He also told me the Mormon Church is very interested in his research for aforementioned reasons. I asked him if he was Mormon and he said no, but the Mormons he was in conversation with said he was Mormon but didn't know it yet, based on the fact that if the research he was doing was conclusive enough, it would justify the history of the whacky religion that is Mormonism.

So was Indiana Jones full of it? Honestly, I don't know.

Frankly, I don't care because it is more fun to think that I spoke with Indiana Jones than a loony from the boonies.

Plus, I like to think that I was holding an seriously awesome, shiny, ancient, Aztec coin.

oh how a small part of me misses sarah palin in the limelight...

http://palinspeak.com/

http://palinquotes.sillycloud.com/#